A huge roach just went traipsing around my porch. I swear to god, it looked absolutely jaunty. Like it should have been wearing a top hat and carrying a cane. I practically heard vaudeville music in my head.
And then I killed it.
The 16 year old: “In Japanese today we had to figure out how to say what our parents do. I searched the translator for ‘housewife,’ but the only thing that came up was ‘housekeeper.’ So you’re a housekeeper.”
Me: “Great. You didn’t say I’m an artist?”
Her: “Oh yeah. I didn’t think about that. But you’re not a professional artist.”
Me: “Uh…I’m sure as shit not a professional housekeeper, either.”